Fuck Lost.

I've been in an abusive relationship with this show, but I think I'm finding my way out.

Basically, the show works like a drug dealer... they give you a hit, and it isn't all that bad. But it begs the question, "what the fuck?" What is in The Hatch, who are The Others, what the fuck is this smoke monster thing? I dropped out after the first season conclusion, because the answers they did offer all just resulted in more questions. Which is bullshit, and my resolution was to wait it out until everyone said it was, or was not, worth watching.

But then the cool kids sucked me back in. I did seasons two through five in a marathon over Christmas, and that locked me in hard. It is maddening.

What pisses me off most, even more than wishing Jack would die of a rectal bleed, is all the fucking chattering about "what it means?!?"

Have you seen anything else JJ Abrahms has ever done? "Alias"? "Fringe"? This is the guy who *wrote* the screenplay for Armageddon. He even managed to drain the more intellectual aspects out of Star Trek in his reboot. Not that that is a bad thing. By and large, I love his work... it is excited, unexpected, and over-the-top. These are good things. But deep? Not so much.

We've got time travel involved, we may have parallel dimensions (I don't think so), we've got miracles going off left and right, supernatural beings, and Egyptian ruins... Lost is the ultimate tangled clusterfuck of scifi and pseudo-religious bullshit, and it was expertly designed to skull-fuck you into submission. And what is the big payoff going to be? Look at the people involved... expect Back to the Future in the final conclusion, not something profound.

I'm fucking stuck in this, and I'm going to follow it to the end... but, I've found a coping mechanism. I'm absolutely sure I've got everything "wrong," meaning arbitrary decisions by the creators will not track my thinking, but I've assembled the thing in my head in a way that relies heavily on Doctor Who technobabble. The tension around the mystery is largely defused at this point, because I can explain everything I see within that frame... if the writers decide to do something different, then fuck them--they didn't trick me, they just decided to do something else.

The coolest thing from last night's episode was when Its Always Sunny's Mac showed up to put his balls on Jack's face. Then Kate shot him and I got sad. This show needs more teabagging.

Fuck lost.