Angry at Lost

I got caught up in the last season of Lost. And... honestly, I feel insulted by this last episode. So many dramatic reveals, none of which hadn't been anticipated. Spoilers:

1. Claire's "special friend" is the smoke monster. Duh. Because the smoke monster has been impersonating dead people, and Claire walked into the jungle with her dead father.
2. Claire doesn't know what happened to her baby, and thinks the Others have him. Didn't see it coming, and yet, duh. The smoke monster is a liar.
3. Jacob has been watching Jack, and the rest of the Losties and many others, since childhood. Duh. He's been interacting with them, delivering nudges, since donkey's years, suggesting omniscience (if not omnipotence). Surprise: Jacob uses a lighthouse mirror as a sort of scrying pool--virgin entrails are a lot more fun.
4. Jacob doesn't think the people in the Temple are safe from the smoke monster. Duh. We already saw the smoke monster kill a guy protected by magic dust; plus, smokey's got a posse (Claire, now Sawyer, maybe others).
5. More people from the Island took day jobs in the parallel reality. Duh. The Ben reveal was a bit of a surprise, and yet--the Island mysteriously sunk, and apparently there were survivors.
6. Parallel Jack is a dick. Duh. Regular Jack is a dick.

But, apparently, last night's episode seems to have blown some minds. Are you glad you aren't watching this? You're fortunately, and a better man than me.

One last thing... I've been pissy about this show because it always seemed to be that the end would be kinda capricious and basically out of left field. At least the evidence is mounting that the conclusion is going to be telegraphed like the Staypuft Marshmellow Man trying to land a right hook on Godzilla.

My money: Hurley gets a throne, Jack and Sawyer sacrifice themselves in a joint act of nobility, smokey dies (or gets his wish in an ironic sort of way), and Kate and some mess of other (very few) survivors get to go home, having learned a valuable lesson. What the Island is will be left just enough of a mystery that no one gets to have been right.

Godzilla toys with Staypuft for a while, then lights him up with atomic fire. It is a five minute fight that might last ten if Godzilla is hung over and Staypuft gets an assist from Zuul.